I'M BACK! Finally after almost a year, I am back in the blogging business. So much has happened this past year. There has been a lot of highs and a lot of lows. Since my last post, which was in August, Quinn turned 2, we moved to Burley into my Mother-in-laws basement, Jake started his new business, my Mom had brain surgery, I helped take care of my Mom, we moved out of my Mother-in-laws basement and into a little house of our own, we had a baby, spent 8 days in the NICU, and many other things in the middle. This has been the craziest, most emotional year of my life. I have learned a lot about myself and my relationship with my husband is stronger than ever. I have become more independent and have taken over things I never thought I would have the courage to do. My testimony has grown as I have looked to my Heavenly Father for comfort and strength to make it through these tough times, and through these trials my faith has grown. Among the tough times, were also some very happy times,(the birth of my second daughter). I have felt his love as I held my baby in my arms knowing she came straight from my Heavenly Father. I felt his comfort as I stood next to her incubater watching her stuggle to breathe and trying to gain strength of her own. I have felt the love of true friendship as my best friend and her family housed me, fed me, drove me, and comforted me through this hard time. I have tried to be a better mother to my two beautiful daughters as I came to realize that the time here on this earth is precious and I need to spend as much of my time teaching, playing, laughing, and comforting these precious angels. Motherhood is the best, most gratifying calling I will ever do and I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the life that I have and allowing me to be a Mother.
Just for my sake only, I will tell about the major experiences I have had this year, feel free to skip on down to the pictures.
Moving to Burley was not the easiest thing for me. Not because I didnt want to be close to my family, but because I dont like change very much. I was having to leave my best friend, knowing I wasnt going to see her as much. I knew that Jacob's work hours were going to change, becoming longer and being away more often. What I didnt know was how my life was going to change. At the time we moved I was about 4 months pregnant, so we all know how emotional pregnant women are, at least I was. So I held bitter feelings toward my husband for making me go through these major changes. My Mom had had some health problems earleir last year following a so-called minor procedure. She came out of that surgery a different person. Shaking, stuttering, and slower than usual. Doctors didnt know what was wrong so she lived with these things for quite some time. In September, she finally got some answers. A brain tumor. Luckily it wasnt cancerous but still it was major. On September 20, my Dad's birthday, my mom had brain surgery. The day before her surgery, I felt in my heart that I needed to be there with my Dad so I drove to Salt Lake that morning. My Dad has always been a very strong person, not ever really showing fear. That day, I experienced fear in my Dad that I had never seen before. We waited anxiously in the waiting room for 6 hours while my Mom was in surgery, praying that everything goes well. The Dr finally came out and told us that the surgery was a success. We were so relieved, but not ready for the long road we were about to face. I spent many days driving to Raft River to help take care of my Mom. I wont say that it wasnt hard on me emotionaly or physically, but through this experience I learned that I am capable of things I didnt know I was. My Mom is still trying to recover. She has had some good days but she is still fighting horrid headaches and other things that still keep her from driving or being able to spend the time with her family that she would like.
Jacob and I decided to move to Burley to take over his Dads Wrecking yard. This was something Jacob has always wanted to do so with the help of our Heavenly Father, we moved our little family here. Since he started working there he has made some great improvements. Business is doing so well and Jake has worked so hard. His hours are longer and he works saturdays which is hard, but I have tried so hard to support him with a positive attitude (its been hard) knowing that the work he does is for his family. I am so blessed to be married to such a hard-working man who cares so much for me and our girls. Which brings me to my next experience.
On February 8, 2013, our beautiful baby, Abby Lynn, joined our family. I went in for my c-section just positive that thing were going to work out better than last time (with Quinn and our scares with her). First of all I was going to be awake through the surgery, as I wasnt with Quinn. Other than being able to hear our baby's first cry (which is a feeling i cant even explain) the surgery was NOT fun. I hated knowing exactly what they were doing. Jacob almost passed out at the sight of blood(which made the dr. and nurses laugh. He was able to go be with the baby while I recovered. But sitting in the recovery room for 1/2 not being able to see my baby seemed like eternity. I didnt know that I would be waiting a lot longer than that. When I got back to my room they told me that she was having a hard time breathing on her own so she was hooked up to oxygen and couldnt leave the nursery. I on the other hand couldnt get out of bed so until I could get up and walk I wasnt able to see her. I finally got to hold her for the first time 9 hours after she was born. That night I got up and walked to the nursery every 3 hours to see her. The next morning at 6am, the nurse told me that she wasnt getting any better, she still had fluid on her lungs and so the ambulance and the NICU team from Pocatello was on their way to get her. My heart sank. I didnt really know what was going on but I knew it wasnt good. As they took her away, Jake and I sat there in tears and in fear of not knowing what was wrong. The feeling of carrying a baby for 9 months and then having her taken away is a feeling unlike any other. I was destraut and anxious to get to her. My dr. was kind enough to release me a day early so I could go be with my baby. She was in the NICU at Pocatello for 8 days. Those were the longest days of my life as I had to sit next to her incubator and just look at her. Hooked up to so many tubes and cords, looking so helpless. I had many thoughts and prayers that were felt from family and friends and of course the comfort of my Heavenly Father. I felt so alone, and so surrounded by love all at the same time. My parents took care of Quinnlee for the whole time I was away and I missed her more than anything. I am so grateful for my parents for all thier love and support at this time and even though Quinn didnt really understand what was going on, she was such a good girl. Eight days after Abby was born we were finally able to take our little family home and start our lives together.
The first few weeks were a little rough as I tried to get used to a new babies schedule and of course the lack of sleep. I am still lacking sleep but my body is used to it now. I love my girls more than anything and I am so grateful to be their Mom.
Life throws us curveballs, but it is how we choose to handle them that can make or break who we are. This year has not been easy, but I know through my Heavenly Fathers love that he will not give me a trial that I cant handle.
Now here are some pictures of the greatest blessings of my life... my girls!!
Abby Lynn Brown
February 8, 2013
7:36am
7lbs. 11oz. 19 3/4 in.
Quinn made this for me on Valentines Day, as we were still in the hospital, I got it via phone.
On the 7th day in the NICU, she finally was transfered to a regualr crib.
We finally get to go HOME!!
This was Quinns first time meeting her baby sister....
....and it was love at first sight.
Abby's first bath.
When Abby was 1 month old, we took her to Island Park to have a fun weekend with some of our Pocatello friends.
We took her on a short snowmobile ride up to Mesa Falls. You cant see her but she is snuggled up inside my coat.
This was Quinns first haircut EVER, and she was 2 1/2 years old. She hated it!
Easter with the Webb's. Quinn LOVED the bubbles.
March 31, Easter Sundey, we blessed our sweet angel baby. She looked so beautiful!
As you can see, Abby has grown a ton in just 2 months. She now weighs 15lbs 14oz. but is still only 20 in long. Quinn loves her baby sister more than anything and is very protective of her. She wants to be able to play with her but for now, holding her is good enough. I haven't talked much about Jacob but he is not forgotten. He has been so supportive of me this last year and has done his best to comfort me. He is the greatest Dad to our girls and he loves them more than anything. Even though he is not home very often, I know that the hard work he is doing is so that he can give us the best life we can have. I love him more than anything and I am blessed to be married to him for eternity.
